


Why Fall in Love When You Can Fall on the Floor?

by Gracieus



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Reddie, Richie Is A Little Shit, cuteness, eddie still adores him, just husbands being husbands, mostly reddie though, pirate voices, richie and eddie are married, richie is a little clingy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-02 22:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13327821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracieus/pseuds/Gracieus
Summary: Based on a request on tumblr.Life as Richie's husband is never boring: sometimes he's a posh Englishman, sometimes he's an angry pirate, and sometimes he pretends to hate love because he craves your attention. Eddie wouldn't want it any other way.





	Why Fall in Love When You Can Fall on the Floor?

It was past 5AM when the doorbell rang and Eddie was about ready to murder someone. He pulled his covers over his head for a moment as if that would somehow make the person at the door go away. The doorbell rang again and this time Eddie knew he couldn’t ignore it.

He groaned and dragged himself out of his warm bed into the chilly night air. He shuffled into his slippers and wrapped himself up in his fuzzy robe. It was so comfortable that he was sure he would have fallen asleep standing if he hadn’t known who was at the door.

Eddie made his way downstairs and open the front door to be greeted by Ben, Beverly, and Richie. Beverly had draped her arms around Ben’s shoulders and was singing an off-key rendition of  _Come On Eileen._ She seemed so far gone that Eddie was sure she would topple over if Ben let go off her.

“Eddie!” Richie shouted and he raised his arms as if he had just scored a touchdown. Eddie scrunched his nose when the smell of beer and vodka hit him.

“Great.” He sighed as Richie wrapped his arms around him and hung off him like a sack of potatoes. He nearly succeeded in dragging Eddie down with him, but he shifted his balance just in time.

“Thanks for getting him home safe, Ben.” Eddie said and he pulled Richie up so he was at least somewhat standing on his own feet again.

“No problem. I think Stan has had the worst of it though.” Ben said, gesturing to the car behind him. Stan was sleeping with his head on the dashboard which was surely going to cause some neck problems for tomorrow.

“Bill is going to kill him at the wedding.” Eddie groaned.

“We all knew what we were getting into.” Ben said and he looked at Beverly as if she was the most beautiful person in the world. Beverly, at this moment, was crouched behind Ben’s car with her underwear around her ankles and taking a piss. 

“Im going to take care of that.” Ben sighed. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“Sound like a plan. I’m going to take care of Mister Tozier here. See you later, Ben” 

“That’s Cap’n Tozier for you, you scallywag!” Richie shouted in a not half-bad pirate voice. 

“Aye, Captain, you’re gold is upstairs, just follow me.” Eddie said as he closed the door behind Ben and put his arm around Richie’s shoulders to support him.

Richie was leaning heavily on Eddie while he mumbled about “gold” and “wenches.” Eddie wanted to hate it, but it was a little endearing really. He couldn’t deny that he liked taking care of Richie. 

“You know, Beverly and Ben were kissing the whole time.” Richie said when they reached the first floor. “He’s got girl cooties now.”

“Really? Cooties, huh?”

Richie nodded and made a gesture as if he wanted to push his glasses up his nose even though he had been wearing contacts for years now. Eddie didn’t think he was ever going to completely shed that habit.

“It’s gross, I hate love.” 

Eddie frowned and he let go off Richie. Richie continued to stumble into their bedroom without him.

“You hate love?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms.

“Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up.”

 _Fuck._ It seemed as if it happened in slowmotion. Eddie tried to reach Richie as fast as he could, but Richie had dropped like a pile of bricks on their fuzzy rug. Eddie thanked God that he had at least fallen onto his knees first and hadn’t just faceplanted and risked breaking his nose.

“This is comfy.” Richie said, his voice muffled by the rug. Eddie checked to see if he was really okay, but he should know by now that Richie was nearly indestructable.

He sat down next to Richie and began to take his shoes off for him.

“So you don’t like falling in love, you prefer falling on the floor?” Eddie asked, pulling at Richie’s boots. “There’s no one you love in the whole universe then?”

“There is one guy.” 

Eddie smiled as he proceeded to take Richie’s clothes off for him so he could at least sleep somewhat comfortably. Richie didn’t even seem to realise what was going on and he easily complied.

“Tell me all about him. Is he handsome?”

“Only the handsomest!” Richie said as if that was common knowledge. “He’s got really soft brown hair and big eyes like bambi, and he has the sweetest smile and cute freckles…”

“What a dreamboat.” Eddie grinned and he helped Richie off the floor so he could put him to bed.

“Only problem is, he’s marrying Bill tomorrow.” 

“Fuck you, Rich.” Eddie snapped and he pushed Richie off him. He didn’t mind taking care of him when he was drunk, but he didn’t have to take jokes like that. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, lover boy.” Richie said quickly and he pulled Eddie in his arms. Eddie turned his face away when Richie tried to kiss him.

“You know I love you more than anything.” He pleaded.

“… go on.”

“And I hate love sometimes, because when I see other couples kiss I miss you even more than usual.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, but he allowed Richie to kiss him anyway. Maybe he was a bit of a sucker for cheesy things like that, but who could blame him. After three years of marriage he was still as crazy about Richie as ever.

“Now, instead of falling on the floor, why don’t you fall into bed with me?” Eddie said before whispering in his ear. “I let you be the little spoon.”

He had never seen Richie dive into bed so fast. Eddie climbed into bed as well and wrapped his arms and legs around Richie like a backpack.

“This is nice,” Richie sighed and he snuggled into Eddie’s embrace.”…and no girl cooties.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and laughed. Three years, and he would never get enough of his lovable idiot.


End file.
